Who doesn't like interviews?
If you're like me, you get really excited about interviews but may not be particularly good at them.
Like everything else in life, the interview is subjective.
You just never know what works. Which means, you have to try out different methods until you find the one that does.
Here are a few I've tried and would or would not recommend to friends, enemies and colleagues for guaranteed varying results.
1: Just be yourself.
Unless, of course you are a horrible, horrible person, then you might want to try being someone else.*
I recommend poet-laureate, Billy Collins or B.J. Armstrong, Chicago Bulls' magnetic point guard from 1989 to 1995.
2: Use the methodical approach.
Find out everything you can about the company you are interviewing with, such as: Philosophy, Culture, indictment history and personal medical records of core leadership.
Consider hiring a private investigator.
3: Try playing it cool.
James Dean cool. Kim Deal cool. Rick Moranis cool.
No one and I mean no one can resist the razor's edge intensity and bespectacled, doe-eyed charms of the Rickster.
4: Be professional.
Professionalism is integral to landing a professional position. It's about clearly showing your interviewer that at least 40% of what you typed up on your resume isn't complete B.S.
It's also about clearly showing your interviewer that you are a) no threat to them but b) are okay with being exploited for their financial gain.
5: Drink tons of coffee right before the interview.
Energy is energy - even nervous energy. Getting cranked up on high-grade Colombian will ensure you are alert, look interested (if not mildly crazed) and will not run out of insightful questions to ask.
The bladder thing is a minor inconvenience - Use it! Your increasingly transparent sense of urgency will tell your interviewer/s you really, really, really want this job.
6: Drink right before the interview.
If you're 21 or older, there is no reason you should have any trepidation about enjoying a cocktail, a beer, a shot or all three at once to loosen up and pour on the charm.
AA, you say? Remember, part of being a good team player is giving into peer pressure. You are a good team player, aren't you?
7: The Costanza.
George Costanza. The Opposite. Duh.
8: Act like a complete jerk.
What works for personal life, works for professional life.
Defying all rational explanation, for centuries, men, women and most all living organisms have found success in acting disinterested, cold and even douchey to their prospective mates.
Put this natural instinctive power play to work for you in the interview and all other candidates need not apply.
9: Flat-out wing it.
This usually entails using a hybrid of all above listed approaches.
(NOTE: For bi-polar types, this method may redundant.)
10: ????
(Who am I, David Letterman?)
* - This rule of interviewing does not apply to Advertising Account Executives.
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